Rest when you are dead.

People always ask me, how?  How did I get to this point?  How is it I come from where I come from and yet have risen above it all?  I am never really able to answer this question because there is not some one answer.  Truth changes from moment to moment.  Here and now I can say it was this one thing more than any other, and tomorrow it will seem it was something else that was most important.  It is entirely dependent on which environment I find myself in, or maybe it is better to say, it depends on who I am talking to.

Today though, I can see one major reason.  A reason or maybe a rule of life that I have been consistent in following; I never cut myself or anyone else any slack.

Most people balk at this.  Never give anyone or myself any slack?  How can one be happy if one never eases up?  It is simple, real happiness comes with the effort of achieving a goal, not the realization of a goal.  When I found all my goals accomplished, wondering what I am supposed to do now or next, I find myself to be the least happy. 

When I was younger and was still tainted by the indoctrination of Christianity I used this rule of no slack, but in a different language.  This is why it is so hard to unchristian people; some of what religious people say is absolutely true, except for the single fact that it has nothing to do with a god and everything to do with physics.  Anyways, back then, I would say, "If it comes easy the devil gave it to you.  You see, the devil gives you the reward first and then demands a price, but not of our choosing obviously.  When you deal with the devil you can pick any reward you wish, but the price will be out of your hands.   But if you work hard first (this is you choosing the price) then god will be handing out the reward afterwards."  You see, when the reward is first, one has no choice in the consequence, but if one works hard (consequence of one’s choosing) then the reward is what one has no choice in.  Please remember, it has nothing to do with god, but our own inability to understand the consequences of our actions.  When one works hard the rewards are simply amazing even though at the time of the work the reward itself is unknown.   Christians always attribute what they do not understand to god or the devil. 

You see, giving yourself slack is getting the reward first. 

Some say, still, that it is too harsh to maintain in life.  I disagree.  It is a matter of realizing the power of your own perception.  Perception is everything.

Let's use a real life example shall we.  I was raised in a really messed up way.  Ignorance and stupidity mixed to the highest degree.  I have spent practically my entire life overcoming what was done to me.  Now, am I a bad person because of how I was raised?   I mean, as a child, I was powerless over what was being put into my brain; we are all the result of our environment.  The problem in my life was, as a child, I DID think it was my fault.  They had thoroughly convinced me to think I was a bad person because of how they made me.  I did not understand as a child that they made me that way, and according to them, it was god's doing.  This is where perception of one's Self becomes so critical.  Yes, I spent most of my life being just as ignorant as those who raised me, but that does not mean I AM IGNORANT.  It means the information in my brain is ignorant. 

I remember realizing this.  This realization sets one free immediately.  The realization that I have a choice in what goes into my brain next immediately removes a victim mentality.  Upon this realization the next to come was, "Holy shit, I have some catching up to do."  These realizations immediately removed the powerlessness I felt about my life. 

No slack, to me, means adherence to the truth despite my personal feelings.  No matter the situation, no matter how bad it hurts, no matter how painful it is, I choose to be as honest as I can.  Was it fair what happened to me?  No.  Do I still have to do something about it?  Yes.  How easy it would be to say, "I am fucked up, there is nothing I can do about it," or they will say, “Everyone is fucked up, no one can change anything.”  A lot of people choose these routes in life.  This would be the reward first, consequence later scenario.  The consequence of remaining ignorant, as we can easily see in our current society, is enormous.  The work I have done to remove the ignorance has been extremely painful and difficult, but it was MY choice.  I had no idea how it would turn out, I simply realized if I did not do something, nothing was going to get any better.  The reward (which is literally my Self) for this hard work is beyond what I ever dreamed it would be.   Back when I was putting in the most difficult of the work I had no clue just how awesome it would be once finished.  Honestly, I was not even sure I could “fix” my Self.  Now that I have this reward, it does not mean I live some perfect life, that idea of utopia is a fools dream.  Without strife there is no progress, obviously this means avoiding strife is to avoid improvement.   I cannot lie and say I welcome strife, but I do see it for what it is; an opportunity to improve my Self.  It is a choice of whether I see that negatively or positively. 

No matter what decisions one makes, perception will be such that negative consequences can be realized, but does this mean it really was negative?  Was it really negative, the intense emotional and psychic pain that I had to endure overcoming what was done to me?  That pain, those seemingly negative experiences that I endured for so long literally saved my life.  It was only my perception that it was negative at that time that made it negative.  It is only a perception that never being cut any slack is negative, in reality; it saves your life. 

Does it suck to always have to be brutally honest with one’s Self?  Yep.   Perceptually anyways, but maybe that is only because I live in a society where people do not think critically.  If I was raised in a society of critical thinkers, being brutally honest would be expected and thus not seen negatively at all.  It would seem negative to NOT do it.  Perception is everything.  Luckily for us truth does not care how we were raised or what society we live in. 

If one is not wrapped up in material objects this rule of life is always true; hard work pays off.  This is why I never cut anyone, including myself, any slack.  Rest when you’re dead.