A big synchronicity

It was the first time a synchronicity was so obvious to me that I could no longer deny that something was going on.  It was driving me crazy.  I knew the Christian version of what god was could not possibly be correct, yet something was going on. Something was working behind what we see with our eyes, and it was more powerful than anything seen to be able to do what it did. How can it all be synchronized? I had an experience that opened my mind such that the hinges broke and it couldn’t be closed anymore.

I was laying in bed suffering.  My life sucked. I knew it was my fault, but didn’t know what to do. Figuring out life on one’s own, as we all know, is terribly difficult. I can’t be like everyone else, so everyone else’s advice is no good to me. It’s like, who just knows how to be a parent first time in?  Life is no different.  I was so sick of the lies. All my life I had been lied to. Everything was a lie, but realizing that does not deliver the truth.  Just because I knew it was all bullshit didn’t mean I knew what was up.  It didn’t mean I knew what was actually going on.  

All my life I had spoken to the idea of god in my mind. All my life I had talked to god as if it were some person in the sky just like I was taught. It was an image given to me as a child. I needed to get rid of that image or my life wasn’t going to get better. I was sick of reading Christian books that were just putting icing on mud pie. None of it was actually accomplishing anything. It was like advil. It only helps with the symptoms. It never actually fixes the problem.

During this struggle I was attending multiple churches. I would set up appointments with local preachers and argue and debate with them trying to figure out what was going on. I threw out that bible. The evidence regarding the fact that it was written by evil people is overwhelming, but those evil people were very smart. They always kept just enough of the truth in it to keep followers. Even now I must admit that there is a fair amount of spiritual statements in the bible which are true, but the thing as a whole is quite evil.

I was arguing with preachers about such things. I’d debate it with anyone I could find. It was all I cared about. If knowing god meant peace then that is all I wanted.  I just wanted peace. I needed peace in this mad world. One night I was laying in bed. Praying for all I had. Pouring all my energy into the thoughts; I just want to know the truth I don’t care what the consequence is.  I have been praying this prayer for a long time now, but a decade ago on this night it was answered instantly.

Months prior to this my grandmother had went to a bookstore that was closing.  She loaded up some book she saw that I would like.  There were like ten of them. Diet books, workout books, self help books, and a Christian book. I love books, so I gladly accepted them. My life got busy though, and they were collecting dust on my bookshelf. I always have two or three books going, so new books which I didn’t personally pick go to the back of the line. Her books were way back in line.

That night I was literally crying I wanted to know so bad.  I just wanted to know what to believe.  Which path to take.  Where was I to direct all my energy?  I didn’t want to waste it again on something that turned out to not be true. I didn’t want to invest a single tiny bit of energy into another lie.  I hate it.  I cannot stand living a lie.  

I rolled over on my side, and opened my eyes.  As the tears cleared from eyes I was staring directly at a book titled Discover the Power Within You.  I reached over, pulled the book out, then devoured it. My mind was blown open.

I could only laugh afterwards. How stupid I had been. How ignorant. I was exhilarated for weeks. I had been reading all the wrong stuff because I was listening to the wrong people. That book spoke directly to the fight I was having within myself. Directly in every single way. That book being right there, at that time, changed my life so powerfully it cannot be imagined.  

My grandmother would never have purposefully bought that book for me had she known what it said.  She has always been a Baptist, so to claim that Jesus was not god, but a man in tune with the universe, she would have disregarded it.  She would have none of that kind of talk.  Jesus not a god? If it were back in the day she would probably have watched as I burned at the stake.

What is funny though is that the woman prays for me every day.  It only makes sense then she personally gave me the book that answered my prayers. That book sat patiently on my shelf for months waiting to be seen.  I had disregarded it because I assumed it was just another Baptist mumbo jumbo Christian book. Asking a dead guy to answer prayers doesn’t solve anything. I had already sworn to never read such a book again.

This book though changed me to my core.  It was there on my bookshelf perfectly synchronized into my life. All the small events that had to of occurred in reality to ensure that book was there.  Since then I have done it hundreds of times. Most noticeable to me is when I spend months wrapping my mind around something, figuring things out on my own, and then as soon as I figure it out; bam! the book is in my hands.  It’s quite an experience when it happens once, but when it just keeps on happening it becomes undeniable that something is working behind the scenes.

To be clear.  I choose not to see this working behind the scenes business as god. I would say god created that thing which synchronizes everything.  Synchronicity is not judgmental. It is the thing that we pray to.  When we pray we are synchronizing with the universe, good or bad, it gives what is asked.  It’s how it works.  It’s not some sentient being handing out consequences and rewards.  It’s the very fabric of the universe of which we were born into, in which we have evolved for millions of years.  Why wouldn’t we be born enmeshed in it?

If we are made of stardust, then we are star dust that has evolved into what we have now. That is pretty damn incredible. In this context though, it is suddenly not so incredible that we would be in sync with the fabric of the universe, being that we are made of it.  

This is why the world is so jacked. It answers the good and the bad. If you are laying around suffering putting all your being into negative thoughts, they are going to manifest. It all ties into that prayer business. Maybe it’s better to ask, why was that prayer answered instantly?  Could it be because at that moment I wanted that thing with my total being?  That I had been spending a great deal of energy on it? That there was not one single part of me that did not want that truth? Now think about what would happen if you walked around twenty four seven wanting everything you did with totalness?  

It’s a lot like riding a bike. It’s difficult to do at first in certain ways, but man oh man if you crash it sucks.  And crash you will. If a person hasn’t worked out their darkness, it will be manifested.  It is being manifested.  The difference is that when one becomes more aware of synchronicity it happens more.  So if a person hasn’t been working at learning to think correctly, it can tear lives apart.

The other night I asked a friend to give me one thing, one theme to concentrate on while I prayed for her.  If I am feeling the energy, and the person is right in front of me, I can create synchronicity for others.  Before I could stop her she was saying she just wants to know the truth.  I could feel her pray it as she said it.  I tried to stop her, I warned her.  Doing that most assuredly brings consequences.  To pray for the truth one must be prepared to lose everything.

Why?  Because truth is freedom.  Freedom, truth, require no attachments.  You can’t be free if you need something else to give you a sense of yourself.  You can’t know the truth if you aren’t free to know it. Thinking you need something to be happy for instance.  You can’t know the truth if your internal state is dependent on some material object. The truth doesn’t care about your thoughts.  Why can't you be happy without such and such? Because you are not free. Because you do not know the truth.

So you see, my friend was directly praying with her being for things she doesn’t even know yet. She has so many attachments.  Seeking the truth she has no choice but to suffer. She doesn’t really read books.  You see books greatly reduce the amount of suffering involved in learning the truth because you can learn from the mistakes of others.  When you try to learn all on your own you have no choice but to fall down constantly.  You will fall down even with books. A lot. I cringed when I heard her say it.  I know what it brings. I’ve lived it.  I still live it.  It’s a way of life.   

Her prayers have been being answered by the way. She is discovering things daily which she did not know the day before. They are not necessarily the things she wanted to know. Matter of fact they are counter to it. The things she is learning are directly in the face of "how she wants it to be." Can you see? The truth doesn't care about what she thinks. The truth just is.

Thinking is obviously complicated

Couple of days ago I was watching some YouTube videos regarding the truth; reality. One of the talks was about meditation. My friend has not stopped her thinking yet.  She claims to want to, but like it was for me, it will be a journey for her. Like me she is going to need all the help she can get. Luckily for her I know a thing or two about it. What is fortunate though is that when trying to explain it to her it creates in me a need to say it in such a way just for her, which means a new way of saying something. Maybe this way could help you too.

Thinking is obviously complicated.  It must be for so many to not have their minds wrapped around it.  The issue is, you cannot use your thinking to stop thinking, so naturally if all someone has ever done is think, stopping doing so seems quite absurd.  If you are thinking in your head that you need to stop thinking; you are obviously thinking, and that will never bring about stopping your thinking.  You will just go on the rest of your life thinking about it with no end in sight.  Stopping thinking is a surrender.  It is a giving up.  It cannot be willed, or forced, or intended, and obviously it cannot be brought about by thoughts.  All one can do is pray for the experiences that will bring about the cessation of thought and live life accordingly. Be wary of praying for the truth; if you have attachments pain will ensue.

The truth is, there are countless ways to stop thinking.  There are as many ways as there are people.  Just get lost in something.  Athletes, musicians, artist, all those so engrossed in what they are doing they cease to think. That is a form of meditation.  If you were to delve into your own mind you would find that you have all kinds of different ways of thinking, different kinds of thoughts, so it is with meditation, there are many kinds.

Think of yourself as one who has thoughts, you are not your thoughts.  Maybe think of it as you being a soul that has thoughts.  The soul is aware of much more than the thinking is. So now think of these two specific kinds of thoughts.  The ones you use, and the ones that come to you.  The ones you use means those thoughts which you are directing.  These are thoughts that you would be using when trying to figure out what to do about your spouse or children.  The ones that come to you are the ones you have when you are searching your memory, or when you are trying to figure something out and have exhausted all of your own ideas.  Artists rely on this type of thought to create their works.

It’s not that the thinking cannot be creative, but that that creativity comes from much deeper.  If the thinking is only one percent of total brain activity then how much more powerful are those thoughts which come from the total mind?  

A good baby step towards becoming a meditator is to just stop the willful thoughts.  One can be meditating and still have a stream of thoughts going through the mind; one just stops listening to that stream.  Turn the volume down so to speak.  In your mind separate the gap between the thoughts. Step out of your thoughts.  Step away from them, let them drop away, cease to care about that silly stream of thoughts.

So there is the gap.  Krishnamurti’s way of bridging the gap was to go into it.  The gap between the thoughts.  He sought the gap.  

I prefer to attempt to be aware of everything at once when I wish to completely stop the train of thoughts.  Just by trying to use all my senses simultaneously it is impossible to think.  Sight, sound, touch, taste, feelings, emotions, thoughts, intuitions.  It’s all happening at once, always. There is just too much going on so it leaves no room for thoughts.  

To be clear though, I use all that is available to me. There are times, like at work, where I can’t stand still, and I must focus. This is when I use the athletic meditation; so focused on the task at hand the stream of thoughts are lost, silenced, they just don’t matter when I am cutting potatoes.  They would just be causing me problems. I need those fries to be perfect.

Another way to meditate is when you have problems in life and don’t know what to do.  Just sit quietly somewhere beautiful.  Anywhere beautiful to you.  Focus on it and relax at the same time. Stop your directed thoughts and let thoughts just come to you.  Be aware of the thoughts coming to you, be aware which ones you directed, which ones just come to you.  The ones that just come to you will be like a dream.  Do you always know what your dreams mean?  In the same way you won’t always understand the thoughts the unconscious mind drops through into thinking.

So if your thoughts are constant, which for most people this is true, and you have never really tried to meditate before, just try to become aware of your different kinds of thoughts. By wishing to stop thinking completely right off the bat is like thinking you can run ten miles the very first time you go for a run.  Instead, begin to analyze your thoughts. Begin to decipher the different thoughts you have; Intuitional ones, directed ones, psychic ones, influenced ones; did you know you get thoughts from others?  There are a great many lines of thought going on in the typical person's mind besides the directed ones.  They, like you, simply have not learned to look within yet. Those directed thoughts are more ego than anything.