One and the whole.

I hope this one to be big, but who knows how big the wave will be?   I will let you be the judge. 

In spiritual talk one hears this phrase, "we are all one," quite a bit.  It can be said differently, and has been said differently by various different spiritual masters for thousands of years.  Using Christianity, Christ said that the least of us, is Him.  When we see a homeless man we should see Christ, or that we should see Christ in him.   He said that no matter who you meet, there I am.  To me that is just another way to say we are all one.  Christians want to make a religion out of it, that is fine, but it doesn't change the facts.  We are all part of a whole, and it really doesn't matter what that means intellectually because the rules will be the same.  It is a physical truth.  It is physics in effect.  Regardless of your religious or spiritual beliefs it is a fundamental physical law that we are all connected on a certain level.  Your family, your neighborhood, your club, your organization, your community, your town, city, state, nation, hemisphere, the earth, the solar system, the galaxy, on and on it goes.  No matter where you go, no matter who you are, no matter how big or small you try to make it, you are part of a whole, and you cannot be separated from it.

When I was younger it both bothered me and entrapped me at the same time.  From inside the culture it is difficult to set one's self free, especially when surrounded by so many who are also trapped.  In this sense, I mean trapped by ideas, the ideas of the majority which happens to not be true.  The idea I am speaking of is this idea that one can do whatever they wish so long as they are not breaking a law.  Please know that I could easily claim like many others that one has an obligation to defy immoral laws, but that is not what this is about.  To me that is obvious, so I am going to go a little deeper into the matter.  I am going to use self-destructive behavior as the grounds for calling people out.  In a sentence, I am calling out the idea that one can be self-destructive and that it is okay to do so because it is one's right.  Many people claim they can do harmful things to themselves and it is okay because they are not harming anyone else.   I say this is not true.  It is not true at all.  It is not even close to the truth.  For whatever reason these people are lying to themselves in order to justify self-destructive behavior.   Harming one’s self does in fact harm others. 

How many of us have self-destructive behaviors?  Like everything else, everything can be broken down into degrees, but to truly understand something the variant of degrees must be removed.  It must become black and white.  One either is, or is not being self-destructive.   The ideal is to not be self-destructive at all, and more than a few humans have proven this is quite attainable, so no excuses are acceptable for destroying one's self.  It is a completely feasible goal.  We may use empathy to understand why one is doing so, but that they are doing it at all is clearly a sign that something is wrong.  It is a clear sign that they are not handling business.  It is a fact that they are harming the rest of us. 

It is easiest to call out those who smoke cigarettes, those who drink and eat poison and are overweight or obese because it is so easy to see it in others.  These things are common sense.  The problem is, in this broken culture, people justify these behaviors acting as if they are only harming themselves.  Adding to this problem is that whether we agree or not, whether we like it or not, we are in the energy of these self-destructive people.  The issue at hand is the part they are ignorant of; their self-destructive behavior is in fact harming all the rest of us. 

That being said, I wish to be clear in saying that one can achieve such a state of mind that no one affects them.  We are not victims to the energy of others.  One can achieve a place where it does not matter what others do, but unfortunately that is not the case with the majority of humans alive at this time.  Negativity and destruction only affect one to the degree to which they allow it to happen.  Most do not know they have this ability and are stuck in the negativity themselves because of that fact.  It could be said that in order to learn this important fact one must first be affected by it.  I have spent a fair amount of time in my life attempting to free myself of the negative energy of others.  I too have had moments in my life where I thought that I could do whatever I wanted, like smoke cigarettes and eat poison.  I thought it didn't matter so long as I was not directly doing it to someone else.  I took it a step further because I do not have kids, so if I want to destroy myself that is my business.  No one was depending on me.  Proof that I am not here to be a hypocrite; I was as ignorant as could be. 

I was foolishly listening to those who had not themselves broken free of the circle.  I was taking advice from those who themselves did not know.   It was not easy to grasp all the wrong I had done to others simply because I failed myself.  It was impossible to see all the wrong done to me by others negligence in life. 

How will your child be their best if you are not being your best?  How can you teach your child, your friends, or your family anything if you cannot do it yourself?  Is your child going to magically somehow realize that it is untouchable by your own self-destructive behavior and then be immune to it?  I am yet to see this happen, and I have been paying attention for a long time.  I am not saying it doesn't happen or that it is impossible, only that I never see it, and have never heard of it happening.  If my research is correct even Christ had to be taught the spiritual truths.  All the great spiritual masters had teachers themselves.  Where would those masters be if their teachers where not themselves attempting to be their best?  We would have none.

Let's use the easiest of metaphors; sports.  If we are on a basketball team, with five players on the court, and Tommy smokes cigarettes.   That means Tommy cannot perform at his peak.  If Tommy cannot perform at his peak then the whole team of five cannot perform at a peak level either.  He is holding back the rest.  It is easy to see with sports because it is easy to measure physical performance.  How does one measure the abstract?  The intellectual?  The spiritual?  What if you are a mother?  Is it any different when contrasting your family unit to that of a team?  How can your family be its best if one of the members is self-destructing?  I say it cannot happen.   The self-destructive parent is damning their child to the same. 

The reason for this level of suffering is so that people can become more aware and make a personal change.  Using smoking as an example, that is why smoking is harmful, because it prevents the whole from being its best.  I am not advocating the removal of suffering, but am simply attempting to express how the relationship between the outer world and the inner world are the same.  Because the whole is suffering, it is reflected back to the individual who is causing the suffering.  It is a perfect mirror.  The outer world we sense with our senses is a perfect reflection of the inner.  One smokes because their inner world is destructive.  The smoking directly harms the individual to show that individual that it is harming the whole.  The more self-destructive the trait the more ready the whole is to be rid of it. 

I would like to use some of my recent experiences in dealing with leaders of the community in regards to this concept.  My hope is to show that you personally are responsible for the whole.  The community I live in is only made up of roughly 9,000 people.  A small group of likeminded individuals could quite easily affect great change in a community so small.  Often times when I make a call for change people like to say that it is too big of an issue to affect real change.  They find it completely overwhelming.  The truth is they are overwhelmed by their own inner world.  These people who make the claim that it is too big of a problem to change, self-destruction, are not aware of the true power they have as a human being, and are the one’s themselves self-destructing.  As a matter of fact, I am about to show you how it is actually quite easy to change, the issue is, not enough people are doing it.  Perhaps, if we are lucky, this essay will change a mind or two.

I have been going to city council meetings for several months now.  The idea was to get them used to my face before I begin criticizing them.  So far I have been successful at this, but like the fat person who doesn’t realize it, there is not a completely nice way to call someone fat.  If you missed my previous blog you can catch up and realize the difference between a judgment and a criticism.  I am not judging the city leaders; I am not judging fat people either, but am critiquing their behavior and actions.  I am simply pointing out the reality of the situation. 

There is a member of the board who is also the leader of a local church.  Not once, not one single time during any public meeting have I seen this man not consuming poison.  This person not only drinks poison from a can, but also from McDonalds.  To me this is a quadruple whammy!  How can a person teach others about god and at the same time be poisoning his own body?  How can he lead a community of individuals when he cannot even control the simple function of regulating his own body?  In terms of spiritual life, mastering the physical body is kindergarten.  The book he uses to teach others about god clearly states that one either is, or is not, in the light of god, and that one cannot be in the light of god and at the same time be harming one's self.  Yet there he is, doing these things.  Using the sports analogy of the team, what state of affairs is his church in when the leader, himself, is actively poisoning himself?  How can the community be any better?

 This community is jacked.  Just because a guy smiles and puts on a nice aptitude all his negativity is over looked.  Not because that is the right thing to do, but because it is the easiest thing to do. 

Not only is he poisoning himself, he is also poisoning all those who look to him for guidance.  Not only that, but he is taking the money they give to him to perform this job and is giving it to other people, corporations, who do nothing but poison our culture and the earth itself.  Soda companies poison everything they touch.  McDonalds does not have one single customer who has not been poisoned by their products.  Add on top of this the distribution of money, in that the CEO's of these companies are wealthy beyond reason and this "man of god" is directly giving his money to them.  People in his church and community are literally starving and he is giving his money to people who do not need another penny.  Correction, he is giving the money given to him by his congregation to the same people who are destroying him community and culture.  He is taking money, given to him by those who wish to know god, and giving it to selfish ignorant people who are opposed to his god in almost every way.  How can one who actively does these things know anything about god?  How can one who actively does these things be an actual leader?  How can he possibly be improving the whole?

Can you see as an individual how he is the sickness of the whole?  Can you see the sickness of the whole embodied in this one individual?  Can you see what is meant by the one in the whole being the same?  Can you see it in yourself?

There is another member on the council, the leader, who has a disease.  He has missed work because of it.  This disease has affected him greatly.  The people of this community are paying for that, directly, and yet in the last public meeting I attended he was drinking out of a large McDonald’s plastic cup.  I did not ask what was in the cup because I know without asking that McDonalds does not sell anything that is good for the body.  So here sits a man, the elected leader of the community, and he does not have enough presence of mind to not poison himself while he is sick.  How could he possibly do what is best for the community when he cannot even do what is best for himself?  He is directly causing the whole, the community in which we live, to be just as sick. 

I could quite easily go down the line of members, the various leaders in this community and easily point out how they are self-destructing.  But let's be honest.  Are any of you different?  So then, let's be clear, now we know why things are the way they are.  We all hold beliefs which are not true.  Some of the very people who act concerned for the community in which I live are equally as self-destructive if in their own way.  They cry and moan about how hypocritical the council is, but I cannot see that they are any different on the basic levels.  Sure they might do some things differently, but when it comes down to the whole they really are not much different.  This is why the system is broken.  This is why there are so many neglected and abused children; the leaders themselves are fulfilling the circle.  These children are up to be next in line as broken leaders, broken mothers and fathers, all wishing the culture was different but unwilling to handle it themselves.  The mayor is over 65 years old.  How much time does he need to gain mastery over his own body?  How much time does he need to move past kindergarten in spiritual terms?

I have said this many times.  If you want to know why things are all screwed up culturally all you have to do is go look in the mirror.  Not many like to do this though.  It is hard work.  It can be painful.  It can really suck admitting to the truth, but it doesn't matter if you do it or not, the truth is the truth.  You are a part of the whole, and if you are not pulling your weight you are actively keeping the rest from being their best.  If you are self-destructing, you are destroying the whole.  If you are sick and not handling business, you are the reason the whole is sick.  If you are fat and out of shape, you are the reason the whole is fat and out of shape. 

Can you imagine what this community would be like if the leaders actually led by example?  Can you imagine how different it would be if they actually lived appropriately?  It would radiate out from them like a stone thrown into a pond of water.  Have you ever done this?  Thrown a rock into a pond?  It doesn't matter how rough or choppy the surface of the pond is, or how small of a rock is thrown, the ripples affect all the other waves.  The issue is, that every breath you take is a rock thrown.  Every thought your mind produces is a rock thrown.  Whether you want to or not you are, every second of your life, creating waves in the pond in which you live.  No one gets to destroy themselves without polluting the whole pond.  No one gets to do this.  One can be as opinionated about it as they wish; it is simple physics in effect.  Your opinion only changes the type of wave you create.  The fact that you create waves cannot be stopped. 

Can you imagine how different your family would have been growing up if the leaders in it were living to the fullest?  How much easier would it have been for you to do the same if you had someone near you doing it by example?  Can you imagine how different it would be if you were doing so?  How much easier would it be for those you care about if they could see you doing it?  Handling business.   There is a song called Lives by Modest Mouse.  The song ends with these lyrics, "My hell comes from inside, comes from inside myself.  Why fight this.  Everyone's afraid of their own lives.  If you could be anything you want I bet you'd be disappointed, am I right?"  Perhaps listen to that song.  Perhaps figure out what you are afraid of, and then prove yourself wrong.  We are all counting on you after all.  How long must we wait?

Judgment vs. Criticism

There is a spiritual phenomenon which occurs regarding judgment, and I have been dealing with it a great deal lately.  I think it is safe to say that when material stresses intrude on the mind it makes it more difficult to think clearly.  The spiritual masters will confirm this fact; if you judge someone else: it will happen to you.  More than a few times in my life this has been a near instant phenomenon.  I would judge someone, and then find myself in the same exact situation, but from the perspective of the one I judged.  It is something we all must deal with. 

In my own experience it is a difficult situation because I am quite naturally critical.  All of us have critical abilities, some greater than others.  When I was younger my critical way of thinking created quite a problem in my own life.  For one, people do not like criticism.  It is often quite difficult for people to hear because their emotions are so closely tied to their thoughts.  Anytime I speak, it is critical, that is simply how my mind works, and most people, most of the time, think I am being judgmental.   Two, this caused me to feel quite flawed when I was younger, because not many people like someone who thinks critically 100% of the time.  I had the emotional belief that if I was healed and whole everyone would like me.  I was judging myself quite critically you see, which is never a good thing.  The real issue though is realizing the difference between judgment and criticism.

Years ago I was talking on the phone with a friend.  This friend, let's call her Lisa, was asking for my help in critiquing up a situation involving another person that she was dealing with.  If I remember correctly it was her mother.  It is funny how people like my ability to be hyper critical when I direct it at someone else.  I have an uncanny ability to size people up rather quickly, but only because I have a life time of being so critical coupled with studying people.  Like all things, practice makes perfect.  In my critique of this individual I said that the person was lonely, and because of that loneliness they were acting a certain way.  

Lisa did not like how her mother was acting, but became upset because I called her mother lonely.  Can you see it?  That is what makes it a judgment.  She was upset, which means she was judging.  Her emotional content was preventing her from acknowledging reality.  I was merely critiquing the situation so that Lisa could have a better understanding of what was going on, which is exactly what she asked me to do.  All of us could have said the same thing about this person.  The behavior she was demonstrating made it quite obvious looking in from the outside.  I was admitting to a fact, Lisa was being judgmental.  This judgment on her part kept her from seeing the reality of the situation at that time.  That is precisely what happens to all of us when we judge.  It is a failure to see things clearly, which is why it will happen to us when we do it, so that we may learn our lesson.  That phenomenon in and of itself is proof of spirituality being a part of reality.  Karma in effect. 

I did not have an emotional response to loneliness.  It just is. I was quite lonely myself when this conversation occurred.   I was just pointing out what was obvious to me.  When people are lonely they do things they often would not otherwise do, which was exactly what was happening to me, as well as Lisa's mother, as well as most people on the planet.  I was doing quite a few things I would not normally do because I was lonely.  The greater the loneliness the more dramatic the behavior one will display.  Most people will be judgmental in this situation and say negative things about the lonely person.  The easiest example is the person who talks and talks and talks, which was something I was known for myself.  I would talk a persons head off if they let me, not because I loved to talk so much, but because I was lonely. 

Most people will only judge what it is they see on the surface, like the bad behavior Lisa's parent was displaying, or like the person who talks too much.   Instead of looking  deeper into the issue which creates the unhealthy behavior in the first place people will typically just speak negatively about the surface behavior.   Lisa was upset because to her, loneliness is bad, so that meant I was saying something bad about this person she cared about.  That is judgment.  She was also judging me, which was obvious by her emotional response to my critique.  Criticism is simply observing what is and commenting on it.  If your hair is black, and I point this out, it is a critique of the situation, not a judgment.  Now, if I say your hair is black and I dislike or like black hair, that is judgment.  One's hair being black is free of personal opinion.  It is neither good nor bad. 

Loneliness is not good or bad either.  It just is.  There are a great many things that humans need to know about life that cannot be learned unless we are lonely.  If loneliness teaches us things we can't otherwise learn, how can we say it is bad?  We would be doomed to a certain level of ignorance if we never delve into our own loneliness.  If one were to closely pay attention they would realize this is exactly what is occurring with most people.  They never grow past a certain level because they never face their own loneliness.  I think the same thing applies to suffering.  Almost everyone is in a state of judgment regarding suffering, but humans cannot improve without it, so how can it be bad?  If no one ever suffered, no one would ever grow.  Almost everyone I know avoids suffering like their life depends on it, yet in actuality their life depends on them suffering.  Most are blind to this phenomenon.

The world is upside down.  I feel quite safe in saying this is one of the reasons so many are what I call children in grown up bodies.  The masses fear fundamental aspects in life that cause us to grow and be better people so they avoid them at all costs.  Almost everyone is avoiding the teacher; suffering.  Almost everyone is judging instead of merely acknowledging things for what they are free of opinion.  Which to me seems to be the mature thing to do.  It is not my opinion if I say a lonely person is lonely, it just is.  In Lisa's case, her judgment of her mother’s loneliness was only further causing her mother to be lonely.  Her judgment projected negative energy towards her mother when all her mother really needed was to be better understood by those she loved.  Lisa did not yet understand that by removing her opinion of the situation she would have actually been helping her mother deal with her own loneliness.  Who is not a little less lonely simply by being a little better understood by one in proximity? 

All this said, I am not saying that negative things do not happen because of loneliness.  It most certainly happens, and it happens a lot.  A great many people harm themselves tremendously because of their own perceived loneliness.  The idea is to see this phenomenon for what it is free of our own emotional content.  Having an opinion is easy.  Anyone can do that without putting forth any effort whatsoever.  Looking deeply enough into things to see them for what they are, free of one’s own emotional content, is another matter entirely.