Renunciation

I’ve renounced so much; only a little more to go. This past week I had a huge realisation. It is the kind of realisation that makes me realise how stupid I am. Why didn’t I think of this sooner? Why didn’t I realise this a year ago? Ten years ago? Sadly, sometimes it takes me much too long to put together things which are quite obvious.

For ten years now I have been reading about how I cannot attain without a Guru. I fucking hate being told I can’t do something. 99% of the time I will go do exactly what you said I couldn’t just to prove we live in a universe of infinite possibility. I’ve literally for ten years now been vehemently vowing to prove them all wrong. This has been very distressing for me, being told I can’t do something. Extremely. I don’t submit to anyone; ever. You have to have a gun. If you don’t have a gun, or are not capable of just straight up forcing me; I cannot be told what to do.  All this Guru nonsense has had me way up in my feels. Ten straight years of it.  I’ve been constantly searching for a way around it. Constantly being told I can’t.

I can't stop thinking to myself there has got to be a way to attain the highest states of consciousness without a Guru, because I will never bow down to another man, or woman, or anything. Not happening.

I am reading this book here. Guess what he’s saying. Swami Muktananda achieved the highest states, without hallucinogens like the shamans use. He used meditation. Only meditation. Guess what a huge portion of the book is about? Him worshiping his Guru. His loving his Guru, on and on this guy goes, pages and pages of it.

Think about this, even don Juan from deep Mexico, taught Carlos to stop thinking, and spoke of all the powers that come from it, but don Juan used his powers, this Swami guy transcended them. Don Juan tricked Carlos into an apprenticeship. This Swami guy doesn’t use his dreams to affect the world, or his powers to wake the world. To each his own; we are not all equal in these terms. This Swami guy followed his destiny, don Juan his; Syntax. The trick is to peel away the syntax.

I am not exaggerating, this Swami guy loved his Guru so much he rubbed his Guru’s poop on himself and went into a meditative state of ecstasy. Don’t believe me, read it yourself. I highly doubt the guy wrote that down just to get readers. He didn’t get blasted in the media, followed by millions of copies being sold. He worshiped the guy, totally. All these Indian guru’s speak of it. This Swami guy though gives his first hand experience of that actual process. It’s a crazy read.

Reading this book though, after all that unconscious study, all the meditation, all the neuroscience, metaphysics, physics. After all that don Juan, putting it all together; snap! You see, what was really happening is that this Swami guy was focusing his mind entirely on someone who had already attained. What I am saying is, take all the language away, take the syntax away. It’s just two humans sitting in a room; what are they doing? One is focusing his mind on the other. In this Swami guy’s case, quite vehemently. He did it with total devotion. His doing that for extended periods of time has a real and measurable effect. Here is some verses from the book;

The mind that is absorbed night and day in women

takes on the nature of a woman,

The mind that is always angry burns in the fire of anger,

The mind that is always thinking of material objects,

drowns in the pit of materialism,

O Sundar, the mind that is continually resting in Brahman

eventually becomes that.

If you do not know the Indian syntax, Brahman is one down from God. If you attain Brahman consciousness, all that is left is God consciousness. Many people confuse Brahman with God, according to Indian syntax.

Scientists have been studying meditators for a minute now. Some of the things they have demonstrated are quite profound. Some of these demonstrations make it easy to see how in the past monkeys attributed natural born abilities for some god or other. It's all invisible to the eyes, and not measurable by any known current scientific devices. I’ll keep it simple though.

Take two people, meditators, and have them focus on each other for a few months to establish a bond. Then bring them into your lab and put a brain reading cap on their heads that reads their brain waves.  Now separate them with some distance, and some walls. Their brains will stay in sync. Their brain waves will stay harmonized. Now put a strobe light on one of the subjects. Just so happens, that a strobe light has an affect on one's brain waves. Sends some people into seizures actually. The person separated by some walls, well, their brain will register the strobes effect too. Wrap your mind around that. Obviously one needs no religion to achieve this result. No syntax needed. We are all connected.

This has set me free of having to worship some monkey.

In my own terms, on my own path, I don’t have to bow down to anyone. I merely need to harmonize my mind with one who has already attained. That is not bowing down. I don’t even need to know their name. I don’t have to worship this person, no pedestal is needed. They merely are aware of something I am not aware of: yet. It’s like feeling wealthy, if you have never been wealthy, how can you know that feeling? By focusing on someone who does! It's not like it happens over night. This Swami guy spent years and years in meditation. Once my mind has focused my body will do the rest for me. It would be the same for anyone, such is the power of the monkey suit. Everyone has this power.

Obviously for this Swami guy, worshiping as he did, it greatly energized him. It greatly decreased the time it took him to take on his Gurus spiritual state. Like being in love, one is greatly motivated to self-improve, to become a better person. I get it. I just love myself more than that.  I love myself too much to efface myself. The entire book is about God being inside each of us, and being able to realise that fact. If God is in me, then it follows that I bow to no one. So I am not going to be looking outside myself. All I need to know is, this is a way to actually feel Truth; that is all I need to know. I am going to continue to seek alone. I told you I would prove them wrong, and I will bet you anything you want, my desire to attain alone, is as strong as his love for his Guru was. In the end it will be no advantage to him. His drug, his hallucinogen, his method was a Guru; that is but one method. What difference does it make what method? So long as one attains.