A big synchronicity

It was the first time a synchronicity was so obvious to me that I could no longer deny that something was going on.  It was driving me crazy.  I knew the Christian version of what god was could not possibly be correct, yet something was going on. Something was working behind what we see with our eyes, and it was more powerful than anything seen to be able to do what it did. How can it all be synchronized? I had an experience that opened my mind such that the hinges broke and it couldn’t be closed anymore.

I was laying in bed suffering.  My life sucked. I knew it was my fault, but didn’t know what to do. Figuring out life on one’s own, as we all know, is terribly difficult. I can’t be like everyone else, so everyone else’s advice is no good to me. It’s like, who just knows how to be a parent first time in?  Life is no different.  I was so sick of the lies. All my life I had been lied to. Everything was a lie, but realizing that does not deliver the truth.  Just because I knew it was all bullshit didn’t mean I knew what was up.  It didn’t mean I knew what was actually going on.  

All my life I had spoken to the idea of god in my mind. All my life I had talked to god as if it were some person in the sky just like I was taught. It was an image given to me as a child. I needed to get rid of that image or my life wasn’t going to get better. I was sick of reading Christian books that were just putting icing on mud pie. None of it was actually accomplishing anything. It was like advil. It only helps with the symptoms. It never actually fixes the problem.

During this struggle I was attending multiple churches. I would set up appointments with local preachers and argue and debate with them trying to figure out what was going on. I threw out that bible. The evidence regarding the fact that it was written by evil people is overwhelming, but those evil people were very smart. They always kept just enough of the truth in it to keep followers. Even now I must admit that there is a fair amount of spiritual statements in the bible which are true, but the thing as a whole is quite evil.

I was arguing with preachers about such things. I’d debate it with anyone I could find. It was all I cared about. If knowing god meant peace then that is all I wanted.  I just wanted peace. I needed peace in this mad world. One night I was laying in bed. Praying for all I had. Pouring all my energy into the thoughts; I just want to know the truth I don’t care what the consequence is.  I have been praying this prayer for a long time now, but a decade ago on this night it was answered instantly.

Months prior to this my grandmother had went to a bookstore that was closing.  She loaded up some book she saw that I would like.  There were like ten of them. Diet books, workout books, self help books, and a Christian book. I love books, so I gladly accepted them. My life got busy though, and they were collecting dust on my bookshelf. I always have two or three books going, so new books which I didn’t personally pick go to the back of the line. Her books were way back in line.

That night I was literally crying I wanted to know so bad.  I just wanted to know what to believe.  Which path to take.  Where was I to direct all my energy?  I didn’t want to waste it again on something that turned out to not be true. I didn’t want to invest a single tiny bit of energy into another lie.  I hate it.  I cannot stand living a lie.  

I rolled over on my side, and opened my eyes.  As the tears cleared from eyes I was staring directly at a book titled Discover the Power Within You.  I reached over, pulled the book out, then devoured it. My mind was blown open.

I could only laugh afterwards. How stupid I had been. How ignorant. I was exhilarated for weeks. I had been reading all the wrong stuff because I was listening to the wrong people. That book spoke directly to the fight I was having within myself. Directly in every single way. That book being right there, at that time, changed my life so powerfully it cannot be imagined.  

My grandmother would never have purposefully bought that book for me had she known what it said.  She has always been a Baptist, so to claim that Jesus was not god, but a man in tune with the universe, she would have disregarded it.  She would have none of that kind of talk.  Jesus not a god? If it were back in the day she would probably have watched as I burned at the stake.

What is funny though is that the woman prays for me every day.  It only makes sense then she personally gave me the book that answered my prayers. That book sat patiently on my shelf for months waiting to be seen.  I had disregarded it because I assumed it was just another Baptist mumbo jumbo Christian book. Asking a dead guy to answer prayers doesn’t solve anything. I had already sworn to never read such a book again.

This book though changed me to my core.  It was there on my bookshelf perfectly synchronized into my life. All the small events that had to of occurred in reality to ensure that book was there.  Since then I have done it hundreds of times. Most noticeable to me is when I spend months wrapping my mind around something, figuring things out on my own, and then as soon as I figure it out; bam! the book is in my hands.  It’s quite an experience when it happens once, but when it just keeps on happening it becomes undeniable that something is working behind the scenes.

To be clear.  I choose not to see this working behind the scenes business as god. I would say god created that thing which synchronizes everything.  Synchronicity is not judgmental. It is the thing that we pray to.  When we pray we are synchronizing with the universe, good or bad, it gives what is asked.  It’s how it works.  It’s not some sentient being handing out consequences and rewards.  It’s the very fabric of the universe of which we were born into, in which we have evolved for millions of years.  Why wouldn’t we be born enmeshed in it?

If we are made of stardust, then we are star dust that has evolved into what we have now. That is pretty damn incredible. In this context though, it is suddenly not so incredible that we would be in sync with the fabric of the universe, being that we are made of it.  

This is why the world is so jacked. It answers the good and the bad. If you are laying around suffering putting all your being into negative thoughts, they are going to manifest. It all ties into that prayer business. Maybe it’s better to ask, why was that prayer answered instantly?  Could it be because at that moment I wanted that thing with my total being?  That I had been spending a great deal of energy on it? That there was not one single part of me that did not want that truth? Now think about what would happen if you walked around twenty four seven wanting everything you did with totalness?  

It’s a lot like riding a bike. It’s difficult to do at first in certain ways, but man oh man if you crash it sucks.  And crash you will. If a person hasn’t worked out their darkness, it will be manifested.  It is being manifested.  The difference is that when one becomes more aware of synchronicity it happens more.  So if a person hasn’t been working at learning to think correctly, it can tear lives apart.

The other night I asked a friend to give me one thing, one theme to concentrate on while I prayed for her.  If I am feeling the energy, and the person is right in front of me, I can create synchronicity for others.  Before I could stop her she was saying she just wants to know the truth.  I could feel her pray it as she said it.  I tried to stop her, I warned her.  Doing that most assuredly brings consequences.  To pray for the truth one must be prepared to lose everything.

Why?  Because truth is freedom.  Freedom, truth, require no attachments.  You can’t be free if you need something else to give you a sense of yourself.  You can’t know the truth if you aren’t free to know it. Thinking you need something to be happy for instance.  You can’t know the truth if your internal state is dependent on some material object. The truth doesn’t care about your thoughts.  Why can't you be happy without such and such? Because you are not free. Because you do not know the truth.

So you see, my friend was directly praying with her being for things she doesn’t even know yet. She has so many attachments.  Seeking the truth she has no choice but to suffer. She doesn’t really read books.  You see books greatly reduce the amount of suffering involved in learning the truth because you can learn from the mistakes of others.  When you try to learn all on your own you have no choice but to fall down constantly.  You will fall down even with books. A lot. I cringed when I heard her say it.  I know what it brings. I’ve lived it.  I still live it.  It’s a way of life.   

Her prayers have been being answered by the way. She is discovering things daily which she did not know the day before. They are not necessarily the things she wanted to know. Matter of fact they are counter to it. The things she is learning are directly in the face of "how she wants it to be." Can you see? The truth doesn't care about what she thinks. The truth just is.